Should We Be Worried About White Women?
Welcome to "wtf is ashley ray tweeting about now?" a newsletter where I try to explain and defend the nonsense that made up my Twitter feed over the last week
**This talks about Emily in Paris, but is spoiler free. Honestly, Emily in Paris is not a show that can be spoiled. Could one even spoil the creation of a loaf of bread? We all see the ingredients, the results are clear. White, dry, sliced facts - That is Emily in Paris **
It’s not often that I write about white women. While I may have a reputation for tweeting about my dumpster fire taste in some white men (as a bit, I swear), I rarely feel the need to big up a white woman’s ego or give them much attention. The world does plenty of that. But Bill Burr’s SNL monologue and some new Netflix programming have forced them into my awareness. I gotta be honest. I’m kind of worried about white women. I mean, I’m not worried about like, their safety or well-being in a system designed to put them on a pedestal, but I am worried about white women on TV.
I know, I’m very good at calling white women out on their racism and lack of intersectionality, especially on TV! I have such a reputation for it! Someone once sent me an anonymous message begging to know why I “hated white women?” But calling out privilege and criticizing a lack of intersectionality in a show, isn’t hatred. It’s just that shows made by white women frequently fall into those crosshairs.
So, I will use the same defense white people use when faced with a similar accusation: I don’t hate white women. Some of my best friends are white women. If I hated white women, how could I love so many TV shows about white women? Girls, Broad City, Shameless, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Enlightened, GLOW, On Becoming A God in Central Florida….are all some of my favorite shows. Also Fleabag, which I personally didn’t like, but does fit with my overall argument. (Oh, also SMILF…actually maybe SMILF is what ruined it for y’all…).
Maybe you noticed something. None of those shows are on the air anymore. Most ended years ago or recently faced cancellation. GLOW, On Becoming A God in Central Florida…these TV shows with complex white female characters seem to be first up when networks are forced to make COVID-19 sacrifices. Sure, there are budgeting and scheduling reasons, but even those decisions can be based on sexist things like childcare and family relocation costs. Female-centered crews and casts shouldn’t suffer because they have additional needs to support. So, are we really losing complex white female protagonists? I don’t know, but it feels like? And if we are…why should we care? Who really cares if there are fewer white ladies who make bad choices on TV?
Well, shows like Girls and Enlightened ushered in a wave of female characters who were crafted by women without concern for the male gaze. That includes shows like Insecure and I May Destroy You. You think HBO would’ve been eager to make shows centered around imperfect black women if white women hadn’t shown it was profitable first? Those black creators don’t owe those white women anything, but sadly, as so often happens, networks use white women as the measure for what diversity should look like.
When I worked in advertising, I was hired to work on a campaign with KFC when they looked for a new celebrity to replace the Colonel. They told us their criteria: the new person had to be “diverse - like a POC or woman.” I, a person of color and a woman, realized what they meant: a white woman would work. Certainly, women of color would’ve been included in just “POC,” right? At the end of the day, they picked Reba McEntire as their “diverse” choice (I love Reba, but diverse she is not). So I think I correctly read between the lines on that one.
Like my guy Bill said, somehow white women put themselves at the front of the line. When networks saw that was profitable, women of color got a chance (the only reverse of this is when Living Single led to Friends). But, that’s not why I’m concerned. I’m worried because something happened after all the weirdo white girls convinced networks audiences could care about a girl who has a muffin top…a wave of new white lady-centered shows started coming out and they were bland as hell. Their leads were skinny, male-crafted relationship-focused mannequins. Two of these shows caught my attention this year: Love Life (HBO Max) and Emily in Paris (Netflix).
Look. I understand that not every white lady on TV needs to be as complicated as Rebecca Bunch, but Hannah Horvath did not expose her pubes on HBO to pave the way for this. I love a lite bubblegum TV show just as much as the next person, but we aren’t even getting Sex and the City-levels of introspection from Ms. Darby Carter or Emily in Paris. I watched Sex and the City for the first time this year and loved every moment of it! I watched more seasons of Gossip Girl than The Sopranos!
But no, Darby and Emily are just the dumbest bitches you know. The thought of death or depression has never darkened the doorstep of their precious little minds. They are bright-eyed ingenues crafted by men to explore a male vision of the world. A world where innocent white women don’t know about nipple rings, stretch marks or sweating after a workout. Abbi and Ilana would be ashamed.
As far as I can tell, white women on TV need to get it together. Mostly, because I’m worried about what it means for the future of diverse TV for the rest of us. If the industry uses white women as a measure for what diversity is and they think people want walking Trapper Keepers like those depicted in Emily in Paris or Love Life, what shows will they want to see from writers of color? Will they force us to adapt to this bland norm if this bland norm is what’s selling? If the progress brought on by Enlightened or Girls ends with I May Destroy You and Insecure, will networks go back to only wanting black stories if they follow certain patterns of respectability or please the white male gaze like Emily in Paris?
As someone who wants to write a future of weirdo, queer black TV characters who sweat, show their pubes and definitely have nipple rings, it’s a trend that worries me. And as someone who wants to see trans, queer, nipple ring-loving white people on TV, this worries me. So, I need white women to be interesting again. Because the industry remains dedicated to using the success or failure of white shows to make their programming choices. And no wants a “black version” of Emily in Paris 5 years from now called Laquisha in London or some shit.
The future of queer, black storytelling deserves better than that, so how about y’all start telling some original stories so we can start telling some truly original stories? Didn’t Tina Fey end 30 Rock with that little lightskinned black girl pitching a TV show for a reason (she won’t confirm or deny that this girl is based on me)?
Because Emily in Paris is a bad show. It’s so bad, it inspired me to finish my own pilot, because goddamn, there must be a better world than this! Yes, Emily in Paris is entertaining enough and you can consume it like a 12-pack of Bubly (it sure as fuck isn’t La Croix), but somewhere along the line networks started shoving boring straight white girls in lead roles, giving them a few diverse friends (who are actually interesting) and calling it progress while pushing incredibly traditional and boring narratives.
Give me my Skylar Whites, my Betty Drapers, my Amy Jellicoes as leads again! If you have to give me another show about a young white lady who dates and has vague social media career goals, at least give her a dark secret or something she has to overcome! Or make her old! Or make her hair like, kind of ugly or something. Please. I know that lady on SMILF fucked up and Run was really bad, but I think it’s time to give messy white girls another chance.
Unless y’all are ready to give women of color and trans women and messy queer black women a chance now, in which case, ignore all of this! Brunette white women aren’t diversity anymore; the future is here! Go forth! Be brave!
What else have I been tweeting about?
Did I watch anything other than that dumb bitch Emily? Of course I did.
90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way is back! My thoughts on the mid-season premiere are up on Vulture.
Can you believe we’re all still watching The Vow? This should’ve been 5 episodes.
I rewatched the last two seasons of 30 Rock for no reason this weekend and it’s still very good. The bit when Jack delivers his mom’s eulogy and Tracy goes, “Today, we are all Irish” is still very good.
The Boys finale was perfect to me. I have no notes. I loved gay Maeve smoking weed.
American Murderer (Netflix) was interesting and terrifying. It’s the future of true crime and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. Even if you know this case, you haven’t seen it explored this way.
I rewatched the last two seasons of Girls for no reason this weekend and other than Hannah’s distractingly black baby, it’s a series finale I’ve only come to appreciate more with time.
Lovecraft Country - Emotional manipulation as storytelling is a skill we should all develop as it is very powerful. Especially when your plot and characters don’t always make sense.
Emily in Paris (Netflix) - Yeah, I watched this entire dumb show. The show should’ve been about her friend, an ex-popstar turned nanny. That would’ve been a good show. Or Addison Shepherd gets pregnant and moves to Paris. Would’ve watched that too.
Bob’s Burgers has been doing some truly weird stuff to keep things fresh this season and it’s working.
I couldn’t finish Hubie Halloween (Netflix) but every time I almost got too annoyed with it, there’d be a joke that would make me bust out laughing. I’ll go back eventually.
Mythic Quest (Apple TV) - I watched the entire show. Sadly, it was not a Ted Lasso moment for me, but I appreciated this queer, diverse take on Silicon Valley.
Central Park (Apple TV) - Ok, this one is on me. I think I just smoked too much pot before because I literally did not understand what was happening in the pilot. Is Josh Gad’s character God or something? I’ll give it another go.
I still have not started The Sopranos again.
The Family Chantel is back on TLC. This is the worst spin-off in the 90 Day Fiancé franchise. Anyway, I am watching it. It has not gotten better. If you’re not a dedicated 90 Day fan, you’re better off going with Darcey and Stacey.
Please just get personal with us
This is the part of the newsletter where I’ll answer your relationship advice questions and talk about random shit in my life.
The trailer for TV I Say w/ Ashley Ray is official live on Spotify and Stitcher. If you listen to podcasts on those platforms, you can follow us there to get our first episode as soon as it drops. We’ll be on Apple and Google Podcasts soon, follow us on Twitter and Instagram to know when that happens. The first episode premieres Oct. 23rd and you’ll get to know me and my lovely producer, Petty Mogul.
What else…gosh, really not much. I’ve been pretty busy writing, I guess. I’m sorry if I upset you when I said Bill Burr was attractive, it was a joke. I’d never be into that.