**This is supposed to be a paid post, but it’s not because I have a hard time assigning value to my writing**
This week, I accomplished a goal long in the making: I got the skin fridge of my dreams. Okay, I will answer the first question: What is a skin fridge, Ashley? Are you a serial killer? Why are you keeping skin cold? Why are you keeping skin, Ashley?
A “skin fridge” (or skincare fridge) is just a little mini fridge you use to store serums, lotions and masks for your skincare routine. Is it a requirement? No. Some serums and lotions last a little longer if you store them in cold temps, but it’s not something you need to do. Mostly, it’s a personal preference: jade rollers and serums feel nicer to me when they’re cold. I just like. You also could put them in a regular fridge, but I live in a tiny LA apartment where it is not the norm to have normal-sized refrigerators! Before I moved to LA, I thought every apartment came with a full-sized refrigerator, I was wrong!
So, I saw an opportunity: I had a legit reason to get a luxury item like a skincare fridge (space) and I started doing my research. Almost immediately, I knew I wanted the item pictured above, but I could not justify spending $179 on a…skin fridge. Also, at that point, I’d only been doing my skincare routine for a little over a year. I got into skincare the winter of 2017. At the time, I looked like this:
You see, I was 26 and I liked to drink a lot. I was fresh in my comedy career and a typical day for me involved going to my advertising day job at 9am, going straight to Cole’s bar at 5pm (or whatever open mic was happening that day), and just…drinking until it was time for me to tell jokes for 3 minutes. Then I’d stay up drinking, hanging with comics or writing TV reviews for black-ish or Scandal or whatever other deadline I had until 3am. Then I’d just do it all over again. It wasn’t a great or healthy cycle. And, eventually it broke me. That Halloween, I went all out. I remember at one point mixing whiskey and wine and yelling “I call this TURBOCHARGED” at a party. I remember fernet and malort shots at another party.
I actually remember getting home that night just fine and I even remember waking up to throw up at some point. Apparently though, and my roommate did remember this, I got up to throw up way more than once. Like, multiple times. In fact, I threw up so hard that night from alcohol poisoning, I burst blood vessels in my eyes. I went to multiple doctors who assured me: I was fine. My eyesight would be okay. I would just…have blood in my eyes until it went away. How long would that take? Eh, a few weeks to a few months.
Oh.
For me, it was a few months. I just kept going to work, my eyes full of blood. Coworkers would ask me to avoid client meetings and work from a phone booth because…well, my eyes were filled with blood. I kept going out and doing shows, audiences would gasp when I joked about dating with literal red flags in my eyes and then lowered my sunglasses to reveal them. I even used it as a tour poster:
Basically, I was not taking this very seriously while all of my friends and loved ones thought…Hey, Ashley, your eyes are filled with blood? Maybe this should be a serious wake up call? And so, I thought…well, sure. I guess it could be. I didn’t really feel like I had a problem with alcohol. I mean, yes, I kept drinking after this happened and laughed at anyone who suggested I might want to stop, but I also knew I didn’t crave alcohol. The thought of quitting didn’t scare me, the thought of like…taking care of myself every day did. If I really wanted to change what got me into this situation, it wasn’t quitting alcohol: it was changing my entire life.
I had to create a routine. I had to start drinking water and going to bed at a respectable time and writing after work instead of drinking until shows. I needed to work out. I had to get rid of friendships and vices that distracted me. I needed to focus and lay a foundation that was strong enough to build the life I wanted. Quitting alcohol was just one cornerstone of that. I started researching all the planners and habit trackers I could find online. I read everything I could about developing a daily routine. I realized, for me, skincare was an easy, fun way to start.
I was never someone who really cared about make-up, but washing my face twice a day seemed easy. I started researching Korean skincare routines and products and 5- vs. 10- vs. 12-step routines. I decided if I was going to do this, I had to go all in. I had to spend the money, do all 12-steps and go balls to the wall or I wouldn’t take it seriously. I know myself and if I’m going to do something, I have to go all the way. When I decided to working out, I got a personal trainer and would push myself to do multiple workouts a day. When I needed to save money to move to LA, I got a job at a spin studio because I knew it would force me to wake up early and work out. My discipline kind of only works if I know there are legit responsibilities or consequences on the line.
So, when friends told me I was silly to spend $200 on a skincare “hobby”, I saw it as an investment. And while I would never claim to be a skincare expert (I will happily point you to actual experts), I liked thinking of myself as a dedicated skincare hobbyist. I even put together this “Ultimate Skincare Guide” explaining my own 12-step routine and loved helping other people craft their own routines. It was an investment. And a little over a year later, I was in LA, I’d quit drinking, I lost 40 pounds and I still had my skincare routine while those negative ass old friends had fallen by the wayside. A before/after:
When it came to get my skin fridge, though, I still couldn’t justify spending that much money. I chose a cheaper $49 model after moving and promised myself that if I maintained my skincare routine for another year, I could finally get the more expensive one. I had to do my AM and PM routines. Even when it was hard. Even when life absolutely sucked. Even when I was in quarantine or intensive outpatient therapy. I’m glad I kept investing in myself. I love this foundation I’ve built and I guess I’m finally seeing all these years of little investments pay off in a big way that makes me optimistic. And also the front of my skin fridge has a MIRROR on it now.
What else have I been watching?
Here’s a quick list of all the TV shows I’ll be talking about on the podcast this Friday:
Bridgerton
People Investigates Cults
The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
Cobra Kai
Veep
Great North
Call Me Kat
Saved by the Bell Reboot
Shameless
The Comedians
Euphoria Christmas Special
Dark
I am trying to finish The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, but I am way too distracted by how they applied her lipstick in the dark this season and it is all over her face: