Looking Back on the Year Through the Below Deck: Mediterranean Cast
TV reviews, TV opinions and also sometimes other opinions
Hey! It’s been awhile since I’ve provided a TV I Say newsletter update! I’ve been on tour to prepare for an album! I went to Colombia on vacation! I started a script review service and it’s been busy! Also, I’ve been putting out weekly episodes of TV, I Say so it’s not like you miss my TV opinions! But, with Twitter probably dying and Substack rating this place a premium follow or whatever, there are a lot of new people here! Honestly, there are so many old pieces you haven’t read, you’ve hopefully spent this time going through some of the best archives on A League of Their Own and The Boys.
Anyway, I’m back! The end of the year is a great time to binge watch. There are fewer new episodes and, honestly, I’m not a holiday movie person. So, I spend November-January deep diving into shows I missed. This year? It’s Below Deck: Mediterranean. If you’ve been listening to the pod, you know Jacob Anderson (yes, that Jacob Anderson), had a big talk about Below Deck. I really got into the show this year. I’ve seen a few seasons of the original Below Deck, the first season of Down Under and a few seasons of Sailing Yacht, but it wasn’t until I met Captain Sandy that I truly found my place in the nautical chart that is Below Deck.
This cast, this crew? They are my people. I’m currently on Season 4 (2019) and I will use the cast and crew I’ve been introduced to in order to look back on 2022. Also, I want to share my three year old thoughts on this show!
Captain Sandy
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? Absolutely, she will get us to safety.
Would we be friends? No, our dynamic is one of respect, I pray she mentors me.
There’s nothing I want more in life right now than this woman’s approval. Captain Sandy is obviously the best Below Deck Captain because she demands so much of her crew, but she’s also willing to do the work herself! If I were on her yacht, I wouldn’t be focused on romance or friends or fun. I would only be focused on doing amazing work that makes this woman happy. As I finish a million writing projects over these next few weeks, I am doing it for her.
Travis
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? Yes, we just have fun and honest chemistry.
Would we be friends? Until we break each other’s hearts.
Travis is tired. He’s tired of living the yachting life. He has the skill to be bosun, but he doesn’t have the drive. He wants to settle down, but he doesn’t know how to make the change. Season 4 Travis? I can change him. I can fix him! Anyway, isn’t dating exhausting? Dating in LA feels like sorting through a million Travises, but instead of having the engineering and boating skills to man a vessel, they’re like, the social media manager for Woot Woot dot com.
Hannah
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? No, she would murder me so she could keep more provisions.
Would we be friends? In the beginning, we act like friends because we see a similar bad bitch energy in each other, but then we find a fundamental difference in how we operate (she lies to Captain Sandy, she makes out with a client, she bitches about Ben instead of just meeting him on his level and writing down the menu while I just fix problems) and we simply never get along after that.
Ugh, this bitch. I am trying to have more patience, respect and grace for people who simply aren’t good people. Hannah is manipulative and a hypocrite! She breaks her own rules constantly while beating up everyone else for messing up! She can’t accept responsibility or blame! Do better running the interior, Hannah! Captain Sandy should get rid of you and I hate that white privilege has kept you around. But, you’re here on the ship with us. We have to get along. I will find patience and understanding.
Aesha
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? No, we’re both too dumb to save ourselves, but we have fun until the end.
Would we be friends? Not at first. Originally, I’m like “Why do you need so much attention? Chill” but then we realize we have a lot in common and become besties.
I’ve made so many great new friends this year! Sometimes, you connect with people you’d never expect and Aesha reminds me of that. Sure, she was annoying at first and her accent sounds like a joke, but now she’s my girl! I’ve lived in LA for almost four years now and it’s great to find wonderful people here. Sometimes, finding friends in LA feels as difficult as being second stew when Hannah doesn’t want to do her fucking job.
Joao
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? Not at first, but then he gives me his last pack of crackers and I’m like, “Oh, he’s a good guy.”
Would we be friends? No, but we respect each other and we’re able to do great work. We can have a meal together and we probably like talking about Severance together or something.
When Joao first showed up, I hated him! He was a drunk mess under Conrad, but I also understood his frustration. He was obviously more mature and skilled than Conrad and we finally saw that in season four! Joao is great at his job and there’s a reason why Captain Sandy likes him so much. Joao is one of those people who knows how to motivate you and he gets better work out of you than you ever thought you could do. I’ve achieved a lot this year I never thought I would, real Joao energy.
Colin
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? Yes, he mostly just cries a lot because he misses his mom
Would we be friends? Yeah, he’s nice and we definitely like each other’s posts on Instagram, but he’s too white for us to regularly hangout and he knows I don’t really like it when he tries to rap.
Colin just reminds me that there are good people in the world! 2022 will not steal my optimism!
Anastasia
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? Sure, I probably make her cry and she’s intimidated by me, but I’m fine.
Would we be friends? No. The first time she washes a guest’s clothes instead of steaming them, I’m reprimanding her and she’s afraid of me forever after that.
Look, Hannah might need everyone to like her, but I don’t. Anastasia: you need to do better. Sometimes, you just gotta say it as it is and call things out. It might not make you popular, but it’s better than ending up without a chef, midseason because someone just wanted attention and praise, but didn’t want to admit it!
Mila
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? No, because I would end up hurting her.
Would we be friends? No, because she’s homophobic!
Can you believe people are still homophobes in the year 2022? She was on the show back in 2019, but like I really can’t believe we’re still dealing with this shit.
Bobby
Do I feel safe stranded alone at sea with them? Absolutely NOT! Someone, please save me!!
Would we be friends? No!
This dude is in season three, but doesn’t he have an awful and weird energy? Like, he definitely did horrible things in a frat at some point in his life.